What 6 Kids & 18 Years of Homeschooling Has Taught Me

Let me just set the scene: I'm writing this between giving the baby a bottle and helping my 9-year-old find that one pencil she swears was just there. The 7-year-old is rollerblading wildly through the kitchen holding the cat, "waiting patiently" for his turn to do school with mom. One teen is somewhere outside pretending he’s “doing independent study” (aka fishing), and the other has locked herself in her room crying for the 3rd time this week because she got a 89% on another math test ultimately lowering her perfect GPA, all while the growing laundry pile is judging me from across the room. 

We are a homeschooling family.
Six kids. Ages 18 down to a newborn. We’ve been at this long enough to know every season — the burnout seasons, the magical seasons, the “are we even learning anything” seasons, and the “Monopoly totally counts as math” seasons.

I’ve wanted to quit more times than I can count (and I can count, thank you very much Saxon Math).

But we didn’t. We stuck with it.
And I am so, so glad we did.

So here’s the truth, from a mom who’s been there:

1. You will not pick one perfect curriculum and ride it all the way to graduation.
You just won’t. You’ll switch it up. You’ll drop one mid-year. You’ll discover one of your kids thrives with online lessons, and the other learns best upside down on the couch with a chicken on their lap. It’s fine. You’re not doing it wrong. You’re doing it right by adapting.

I have also found the curriculums change as kids get older, so what may work for you and them when they are young, may not work for you in the older grades. 

It is also normal and ok to choose a curriculum based on your exact season of life, even if you don't particularly like it. I have always been a hands-on homeschooler: books, workbooks, activities, paper and pencil. Very little to no online work. BUT, this last year changed that with the addition of pregnancy, newborn, business and farm life, there simply weren't enough hours in the day for me to do it all. We switched to an online-based school and although it is not my or the kids favorite, it is what is working for this particular season in our lives. And we are slowly incorporating more hands-on back as time allows. 

2. Sometimes “unschooling” happens whether you plan it or not.
Ever play Monopoly for 2 days straight and realize you just taught budgeting, taxes, negotiation, and family therapy?

That counts. Learning doesn’t only happen in a workbook. Life teaches. Play teaches. Reading aloud with a messy kitchen and a baby on your hip absolutely teaches.

3. There will be days you want to give up.
That doesn’t mean you’re failing. It means you’re human. And schooling multiple children, or even just 1, is difficult.

Most of us come from a public-school background (myself included) and never once thought that we would be homeschooling our kids. It's ok to be overwhelmed with it all and I'm sure you already know this, but kids have 'off' days too.

Take a breath. Take a walk. Take a day off. Take a week off. Do whatever is best for you at the time. Remember that homeschooling is a marathon, not a 100-yard dash. Taking a break wont ruin you or them. 

Then get back to it. You’re investing in your kids and your family in a way that will pay off in ways no standardized test can ever show.

AND...

The best advice I ever received from a veteran homeschool mom when I was in the very beginning and crying through my days of schooling not thinking I was good enough to be able to teach my kids all they needed to know....

No one will ever love your children more than you. No one will ever try as hard as you. No one will ever be more invested in their future and making sure they learn to the best of THEIR ability. You may not have the degree of a teacher, but that is not what is required to be the best teacher for your own child. 

4. Homeschool is NOT “school at home.”
We’re not here to recreate 8-hour school days with bells and lockers. Most days, actual schoolwork might take 1-2 hours, and the rest of the day is life. And guess what? Life is where so much of the real learning happens.

5. Your kids will have friends. Real ones. With parents who also bring snacks.
Gone are the days when people thought homeschoolers only talked to their cat and siblings. There are thriving homeschool groups, co-ops, nature clubs, community sports, church groups, and art classes — especially post-“pandemic,” when families realized they needed community and flexibility. You’re not alone!

A few other truths I’ve learned:

• You don’t have to finish every workbook. The homeschool police won’t show up.
• You’re allowed to change your mind. About curriculum, schedules, or even taking a break.
• It’s okay to cry in the pantry. Just lock the door and bring chocolate.
• Your kids will learn to read. Even if it feels like they never will.
• One day they’ll thank you. Might be in a college essay or over coffee when they’re grown. But it’ll happen.

So if you’re in the trenches right now — juggling toddlers and algebra and maybe a little doubt — I want you to hear this:

You are doing a good job.
You are enough.
You are not alone.

With love (and probably spaghetti sauce on my shirt),
Nicole from CT Ranch